Weathering the Storm: Reflections on Our Year Long Separation with Five Kids
IIn this candid blog post, I invite you to walk alongside me as I share the raw emotions, challenges, and moments of clarity that defined this transformative period of my life.
Deciding to separate from my husband after many years together wasn't easy. It was a time of intense emotions, uncertainty, and fear. With five kids, we worried about how it would affect them and our family life. The memories and history we shared made the thought of splitting up even harder to bear.
Co-parenting during the separation was really tough. We had to make sure our kids felt okay even though we weren't all living together. We had to talk a lot and work together to keep things as normal as possible for them. But I could see that the separation was hard on them too. They seemed unsure and worried, which made me feel even more upset. It was tough to realize that our kids, who used to bring us so much joy, were now struggling because of our divorce. And as their mom, it made me feel even more stressed and worried.
In the first few months after separating, we experienced a whirlwind of emotions - sadness, loneliness, and occasional moments of hope. We each took time for self-reflection, exploring our own paths of growth beyond our marriage. Despite the challenges, the separation allowed us to become stronger and more self-aware. I sought support from healers and therapists, attended retreats, and discovered parts of myself that had been forgotten or ignored. These experiences taught me about empowerment and the importance of setting healthy boundaries, which I'll discuss more in another blog post.
Yet amidst the turmoil, there were glimmers of hope—moments of connection and understanding that served as a beacon of light in the darkness. We made a concerted effort to prioritize their well-being above all else, seeking out intensive marital therapy to help us navigate the complexities of our new reality. Slowly but surely, we began to rebuild the bonds that had been frayed by our separation, finding solace and strength in each other's love and support.
After a year, we decided to give our marriage another chance. But we know that reconciliation is just the beginning. It takes a lot of work and commitment to make a relationship strong again. We have to be open and honest with each other, and deal with the issues that led to our separation. It may not be the right choice for every marriage, but in our case, we chose to give it another chance.
Navigating this separation with our five children was undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences we've faced as a couple. Yet, it was also a journey of profound growth, resilience, and ultimately, reconciliation. Our story serves as a testament to the transformative power of love, forgiveness, and the unwavering determination to weather life's storms together.